I really really love Glee. I'm not the type of person to wait all week for a show and adjust my schedule to watch it, but this is something different. I feel like I have to see it. I guess my love of Glee isn't terribly important to what I really want to say today, but it was last night's episode that made me decide to write about this.
Ok, so last night on Glee Kurt was upset because he thought he was losing his relationship with his dad because he's gay. He tells this to Sue and she asks him if he has ever even kissed a boy or a girl. Kurt says no. Sue tells him that the problem with his generation is that they're obsessed with labels. She basically tells him that maybe he doesn't really know yet and shouldn't just take on a label because it seems to make sense. Well, if you want to know what happened, watch the episode.
As I watched this exchange take place, I sort of laughed to myself because it is something I've been thinking about a lot. I think that young people are generally obsessed with labels, but that most people grow out of that. I do however, think that there is an area where the general public continues this obsession with labels. That area is sexuality. For some reason people want to see everyone as either straight or gay with very little wiggle room.
Here's the thing. I don't think that sexuality is as simple as all that. Sure, some people are only ever attracted to one sex or another. I think though that a lot of people deviate from that. I mean, how many girls do I know who have made out with other girls but still consider themselves straight? Or what about the gay men I know who have slept with several women? If sexual orientation was as simple as we make it out to be, would these situations arise? I say no.
I guess what I'm saying here is that the labels are kind of a sham. I mean, they don't actually mean anything. At the end of the day, aren't we all just looking for someone to be happy with? One of the most influential people in my life happens to be one someone who kind of breaks the rules when it comes to labels. The way she describes it is that it was never about whether someone was male or female. It was really only ever about the person. Label that!
So what if people don't fit into one category or another. So what if it's you that can't quite figure out which camp you belong in. Sure, labels seem convenient, but they really aren't helpful. It is far too easy to get caught up in a label and lose your true identity.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
lose the training wheels
I've noticed that sometimes it is just impossible to really express to someone else what you think or feel. That's ok I guess because at least we know... don't we?
I've been thinking a lot about being honest with myself. It seems like it would be hard to avoid full disclosure with yourself. When I write it, it almost seems ridiculous. The thing is, there is a huge difference between knowing everything that we do or say and knowing how it makes us feel or why we do or say it.
When I first started thinking about writing this, I wanted to talk about how important it is to be honest with yourself. The more I thought about it though, the more I realized the difficulty of it. Don't get me wrong, I think it is vital. I think though that before I can go on and on about being true to yourself and all of that, I need to address what that actually means.
I guess what I've learned over the last few years is that we train ourselves to think and act in certain ways. To some extent we have to do that, I get that. But, sometimes all that training gets in the way of fully experiencing things. If we only have our prefabricated responses we never actually stop to think about anything. We never question anything. We never develop opinions of anything. And often, we ignore any signs that there might be something going on within ourselves that would go beyond the training.
I see this kind of living sort of like riding a bike with training wheels. It is still fun, but you're never really one of the big kids until you can get around the block without them. You're never really living if you don't take the training wheels off your mind, at least from time to time. What exactly do I mean by that? I mean that you have to be upfront with yourself. You have to ask yourself if the things you've been doing are still working for you. You have to think about things that have happened and what they really mean to you. You have to try some new things and get outside of your comfort zone a bit. You have to evaluate what makes you uncomfortable. I'm not saying you need to abandon your principles, not at all. I am saying though, that it is important to even question the fundamentals sometimes. If the things you believe really are true and right(for you anyway), you'll feel even better about them after some good reflection.
I bring all of this up because I know that I can't possibly be the only one out there with issues swirling around my head that I ought to have confronted years ago. I think it is far too easy to hide the hard things from yourself. It can be hard to bring out the truth for yourself, but it is rewarding. It is liberating to start understanding yourself, just like it was liberating to lose the training wheels.
I've been thinking a lot about being honest with myself. It seems like it would be hard to avoid full disclosure with yourself. When I write it, it almost seems ridiculous. The thing is, there is a huge difference between knowing everything that we do or say and knowing how it makes us feel or why we do or say it.
When I first started thinking about writing this, I wanted to talk about how important it is to be honest with yourself. The more I thought about it though, the more I realized the difficulty of it. Don't get me wrong, I think it is vital. I think though that before I can go on and on about being true to yourself and all of that, I need to address what that actually means.
I guess what I've learned over the last few years is that we train ourselves to think and act in certain ways. To some extent we have to do that, I get that. But, sometimes all that training gets in the way of fully experiencing things. If we only have our prefabricated responses we never actually stop to think about anything. We never question anything. We never develop opinions of anything. And often, we ignore any signs that there might be something going on within ourselves that would go beyond the training.
I see this kind of living sort of like riding a bike with training wheels. It is still fun, but you're never really one of the big kids until you can get around the block without them. You're never really living if you don't take the training wheels off your mind, at least from time to time. What exactly do I mean by that? I mean that you have to be upfront with yourself. You have to ask yourself if the things you've been doing are still working for you. You have to think about things that have happened and what they really mean to you. You have to try some new things and get outside of your comfort zone a bit. You have to evaluate what makes you uncomfortable. I'm not saying you need to abandon your principles, not at all. I am saying though, that it is important to even question the fundamentals sometimes. If the things you believe really are true and right(for you anyway), you'll feel even better about them after some good reflection.
I bring all of this up because I know that I can't possibly be the only one out there with issues swirling around my head that I ought to have confronted years ago. I think it is far too easy to hide the hard things from yourself. It can be hard to bring out the truth for yourself, but it is rewarding. It is liberating to start understanding yourself, just like it was liberating to lose the training wheels.
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