action is character

I really hope that whoever is reading this has seen An Education. I really loved it. I was thinking about the movie when I started writing this. There is a line in the movie that I will unfortunately not quote perfectly, but I'm going to try. It is something like, "My teacher is always saying, 'action is character.' I think that means that if we never did anything then we'd never be anyone." This conversation in the movie really got me thinking. I totally agree. If we never step outside ourselves and do something real and different, then we can never become the people we were meant to be.
I feel like I’m just starting on this journey of becoming who I really should be. The scary thing is that I have no clue who I am supposed to become. I spent most of my life under one assumption, and now I feel I’ve come to see that as all wrong. I don’t know if there ever really is a totally right. I think that’s the point though. There isn't necessarily one perfect life path for anyone, just the one that makes us learn and grow the most.
I spent my whole life going through the motions and wondering why I never felt fulfilled. Now I’m at this crazy crossroads wondering where I’ll end up. I wonder if I'm really on track now, or if at some later point in life I'll be asking myself what I was thinking.
I think, though, that I’m doing a much better job now of listening to my heart and trying to do what it tells me. I’m not sure I ever did much of that in my life before. I always felt that something wasn’t right. I just always thought it was me. I can finally see that I’m not the part that’s wrong in my life. That doesn’t even make sense! How can I possibly be the malfunction in my own life? Sometimes I’m amazed at how little I’ve allowed myself to think of me all this time. I really can’t believe that I actually thought that my whole life sucked because I just sucked at living it.
I’m finally starting to see that the things I wanted to be and to do didn’t make sense. I realize now that you can’t frame your life around abstract ideas and perfect images. That will only ever lead to heartache and disappointment. What I’m starting to feel is that life is supposed to be about something more definite. Its not about being perfect, rather, its about being the best form of myself. Life is for living and feeling and experiencing. In everything I do I can get closer to the person I’m supposed to be. I never again want to feel like I’m stuck trying to move toward some ideal that has nothing to do with who I really am. That is what I felt like for a long time. I felt like there was this person I was supposed to be, but that I wasn’t even sure I liked that person. I just thought that I didn’t like her yet because I wasn’t there yet, or something. I don't even think that sentence makes sense, let alone the idea.
I just want to find the real person I’m supposed to be, the one that bears all the signs of actually having lived my life.